New Book - Sound of the Beast: The Complete Headbanging History of Heavy Metal by Ian Christe

Well, my fears were realized with I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto by Dave Thompson. I plowed through it more quickly than Jack the Ripper through East End hookers (too soon?), hoping to find some deep, insightful reason why Thompson hates any music made after some indeterminate date in 1976. I found none. Instead, it was what I had feared: a middle-aged curmudgeon who hates new music because it's not old music. As I said before, I love old music. And I also love new music. I don't exclude or limit my tastes or opinions based on the copyright date of a song or album.

Thompson is funny and clever, no doubt (his chapter discussing Bono is pretty hilarious), and I enjoyed many of his discussions about classic rockers, but his book lacks the in-depth "why" analysis I was hoping for. He lauds the likes of 8-tracks, Black Oak Arkansas, Frampton Comes Alive, and songs that fill an entire side of a record, while disparaging CDs, all-star benefit concerts, Phish, grunge, the '80s, and nearly all other music made after 1976 (except, of course, for certain post-1976 music by classic rockers). Some of his arguments hold some water. I certainly agree that most old music is great, and it sure is neato that some 8-tracks contain songs or extended tracks that are unavailable on any other medium.

However, his basal argument is that any new music is influenced by classic rock and, therefore, new music is unoriginal and, therefore, new music sucks. This argument is as idiotic as it sounds. Of course musicians are influenced by past musicians. That's why they become musicians in the first place -- because they like music. Of course, he failed to explain why the musicians of the sixties and seventies were any different, since they drew their influences from the musicians of the fifties (as well as their contemporaries), and the musicians of the fifties drew their influences from the blues and early country music, and those musicians drew their influence from old spirituals and folk music. I guess all music must suck. Look, I understand that a lot of classic rock bands did things that had never been done before, and that, as a result, it is much harder for new bands to do something that has never been done before, but that doesn't make post-classic rock music any less important, artistic, or relevant than classic rock. Such a blanket lambast of all music made after 1976 is simply lazy.

I was hoping for a well-rounded, intelligent argument. Instead, I got a narrow-minded, meandering 200-page old man rant. It was a complete letdown and a waste of time and money. I disliked it enough that I nearly threw it into the "Donate a Book" bin outside the Dominick's on my walk home from the L the other day. And if you think I'm being too harsh, Thompson, in an appendix to the book, lists what he thinks are the 100 greatest classic rock songs (1968-1976; not including Beatles songs). Number 65 is "Witchy Woman" by The Eagles. You have got to be kidding me. I think I can name approximately 10,000 pre-1976 songs and 10,000 post-1976 songs that are better than "Witchy Woman." Any credibility is out the door when you include that in your Top 100, not to mention the fact that "Show Me The Way" by Peter Frampton and "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac are in his top 20.

To heal my wounds, my next book is Sound of the Beast: The Complete Headbanging History of Heavy Metal by Ian Christe. Me loves the metal, and I know a lot about its history, but it can never hurt to know more. And I can guaran-damn-tee that there will be no praising of "Witchy Woman" in this book.


Books read in 2009:
The Informers by Bret Easton Ellis
Oh The Glory of It All by Sean Wilsey
I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto by Dave Thompson