Queensland? More Like Stupidland

So those SOBs at the Queensland Board of Tourism passed me up for their fifty-person short list for The Best Job in the World. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, the Queensland, Australia Board of Tourism is holding a contest, where the winner gets to spend 6 months on an island near the Great Barrier Reef in a beautiful house with a salary of approximately $100,000 (in US dollars). All they have to do is blog about their experiences and make videos of what they're doing, with the goal being to boost tourism in Queensland. The application consisted of a 60-second video that was to explain why you were the best person for the job and show your knowledge of Queensland. I applied, foolishly thinking that they might be looking for someone without professional-grade filmmaking equipment, competitive swimming experience, or professional television experience. I was wrong. Check out the short list. All of the videos are works of art. Some are obviously (and unabashedly) professionally made.

All I had to offer was a laptop camera, a rapist's wit, Air Supply references, and hugs. For everyone. But no, they want someone who hosts her own travel TV show in India, or someone who produces films, or someone who looks good in a bathing suit. This is bullshit. I will never go to Queensland. I may, however, compile a blooper reel of my application and post it on YouTube.