Midwestern Eavesdropping - 10/29/09

Twentysomething female talking to a pregnant co-worker: "I just want to see some breast pump."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Guy walking down street, wearing large, Russian-style hat: "So I was a pallbearer and my mom really liked that."
--Chicago, Orchard & Drummond
Eavesdropper: Trashton

Drunk guy to a buddy: "Every time you eat a girl's ass out on the first date, you're gonna get Hep C."
--Chicago, Kelly's Pub, Sheffield & Webster
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Suit: "A miscarriage can't be good, especially for her--"
Skirt: "Already fragile mental health, I know..."
Suit (short pause): "I was going to say vagina."
--Chicago, California Pizza Kitchen, Wells & Washington
Eavesdropper: RobD

Fifth grade teacher unsure about pronunciation: "Was that i-talian or e-talian?"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Dude in concessions line at Carolina Panthers game: "My aunt works at Hooters so we went up there to see her. "
--Charlotte
Eavesdropper: Yehday

Overweight female attorney to colleague: "Is it possible to take too much Imodium?"
--Chicago, 219 S. Dearborn
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Giant man at an NFL game text messaging to a woman named Becky: "Let me know when he's not around so I can comeover for fun time."
--San Diego
Eavesdropper: Tron

Fifth-grade teacher: "I woke up with pretzel sticks stuck to my ass"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Dude #1 at Saturday party for one-year-old, to guy wearing Notre Dame jersey: "What is that, a Ron Powlus jersey?"
Dude #2 (incredulously): "No. Lee Beckton."
--Aurora, IL
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Female teacher: "Oh look, an automatic wheelchair. You know what I can do on top of one of those things!"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Chick outside bar, to friend: "Did I show you my naked lady ring? The CIO of the Library of Congress gave it to me."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Fifth-grade teacher: "If I'm not blacked out I don't consider myself drunk."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Chick on phone on State Street bridge: "Dancing might be put on hold if mom gets a hip replacement."
--Chicago, State & Wacker
Eavesdropper: GMYH

One groomsman in a tuxedo to another: "I've always wanted to put something in my mouth that's been in yours."
--Chicago, LaSalle & Randolph
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thanks for the submissions and all that crap. If you overhear something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com. Good day.