Rocktober Album #7: Skid Row – Skid Row (1989)

First of all, let me just say that on the L home from work last night, I saw a balled-up used maxi pad on the floor under the seat in front of me. That has nothing to do with Rocktober or Skid Row, but it is fucking disgusting. How did it get there? Did someone eject it mid-ride or was this just something someone was carrying around and decided to toss onto the floor of a train used by thousands of people every day? Either option is mildly terrifying.

Speaking of other things, today's Rocktober selection is Skid Row's debut album, the aptly titled Skid Row.

I remember getting this tape in the summer of '89 from Beautiful Day Records in LaGrange. I was staying with my friend Jeremy while my parents were out of town. This is significant because we rented The Shining at some point during my stay. I made it about a third of the way through the movie before I was sufficiently freaked out. I left the room, went upstairs and listened to my new Skid Row tape while playing Wizard and Warriors on Nintendo. And I've loved the album ever since, not only because it saved me from having to watch Jack Nicholson make out with a corpse, but also because the album is very good.

I rediscovered this album in about 2001 when someone gave me the CD, and it's actually a pretty underrated album, especially considering it was Skid Row's debut. Lumping Skid Row in with the entire hair band genre may not be entirely fair because they were definitely harder than most -- closer sonically to GNR or W.A.S.P. than, say, Poison or White Lion (not that I don't love them all). The album is probably best known for the two ballads, "18 and Life" and "I Remember You" – which are both great songs and were both Top 10 hits – but the rest of the album is just good ol', in-you-face, ball busting guitar rock complemented by some great vocals. Anyone who doesn't think Sebastian Bach is a great singer is probably mentally imbalanced. The man has some pipes, probably some of the best of my generation. Hell, after he left Skid Row, he had a successful career on Broadway. And let's not forget that bassist Rachel Bolan used to have a chain connecting his nose ring to his earring. As I've said before, this doesn't really bear on the music, but I just think it's badass because you're basically daring people to rip your nostril and ear lobe out in one fell swoop. But no one did.

1. Big Guns
A bombastic start to the album that really sets the tone for the rest of the album. Sebastian Bach is wailing, the guitars are screaming, and everyone else is generally rockin'.
2. Sweet Little Sister
This song is a rollicking good time, straight-forward and catchy. I've always loved the line "She's got her hands in the cookie jar, smilin' like an alligator." Good imagery for a song about a slut.
3. Can't Stand the Heartache
Another great, guitar-driven song with some hooks.
4. Piece of Me
Piece of Me is a gritty song about how some chick needs to hurry up if she wants a piece of the singer. No, Kevin, he doesn't want the chick to actually take a chunk out of him. He's talking about his dong. It's a metaphor. Why do you have to be so dense?
5. 18 and Life
I can still remember the first time I saw this video. You see, I didn't have cable growing up, which meant I didn't have MTV. We went to Houston and stayed with some old neighbors who did have cable and MTV. I thought it was a great song, and the video added to it. Teenagers, booze, and guns don't mix, and I'm glad Skid Row had the 'nads to say it.
6. Rattlesnake Shake
Interestingly, Mötley Crüe also had a song called "Rattlesnake Shake" around this time (on the Dr. Feelgood album). They are different songs and about the same thing (sex, Kevin), but Skid Row's is a little dirtier. It also contains one of my favorite lines in rock history: "Talk is cheap and so is she."
7. Youth Gone Wild
This is a great anthem. It was the first song released off of the album and the first Skid Row song I ever heard. "Park Avenue leads to Skid Row." I don't think that's true, but I still love the song.
8. Here I Am
I've always like the guitars on this song, as well as the line "close your eyes and I'll be Superman," since I assume that means if the lady closes her eyes, Sebastian Bach will become paralyzed. Figuratively, Kevin. Jesus Christ.
9. Makin' A Mess
This is another great fast-paced rocker that basically tells the female subject, in no uncertain terms that she would be better off dead than makin' a mess of the singer.
10. I Remember You
This is now a classic "monster ballad," as well it should be. Bach's vocals are enormous on this song. Plus, let's not kid ourselves, it's a great song.
11. Midnight/Tornado
This is two songs in one, not unlike Boston's "Foreplay/Longtime," although here the "Midnight" portion of the song contains lyrics, while the "Tornado" portion is instrumental.