GMYH All-Star Albums

Here at GMYH, we love music, even more than we love curling. So, I figured it was high time to create some completely arbitrary and meaningless list of my 50 favorite albums. If I was stranded on a desert island and for some reason had access to electricity and a CD player, these are the albums I would want with me while I lost unhealthy amounts of weight and befriended a volleyball. Excluded from this list are greatest hits albums, compilations (which unfortunately excludes much of my blues collection), and soundtracks. Just for shits and giggles, I excluded multiple albums from the same artist. And of course, I included only albums that I own. So, without further ado, I present the GMYH All-Star Albums:

First Team (in order)

1. Derek & The Dominos - Layla & Other Assorted Love Songs (1970). The combination of rock gods, south Florida, and enough booze, coke, and heroin to kill Keith Richards is usually a combination that results in great music. Combine that with a guy who's desperately in love with his best friend's wife, and you have a masterpiece. With Eric Clapton's heartbreak, Duane Allman's slide guitar, and Bobby Whitlock and Clapton's songwriting (and some other guys' contributions), this group churned out a combination of blues ("Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out"), rock ("Keep On Growing"), and frantic love songs ("Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad?") that is the best post-breakup-crying-alone-in-a-dark-room-while-downing-a-bottle-of-Jack album ever made. The song "Layla," which may as well have been called "Pattie" (for Pattie Boyd Harrison, George's wife, with whom Clapton was in love), might be the best song in rock and roll history. Their version of Jimi Hendrix's "Little Wing" is haunting. In essence, Clapton's genuine despair and heartache shines through in every song. Favorite Songs: "Anyday," "Little Wing"
2. Def Leppard - Hysteria (1987). From the moment I heard "Pour Some Sugar On Me" on Z-95, I loved it, and it soon became (and still is) my favorite song of all-time, even though I didn't fully understand what the song was about until sometime last year. Turns out it was about sex. The Hysteria album was the first album made after Rick Allen's horrific 12/31/84 car accident that left him with only one arm, and Allen had a special drum kit engineered so that he could play with his left foot what he had previously played with his left arm. Hysteria is, in my opinion, the best album of the glorious and decadent Hair Band Era. It had four top 10 songs, Def Leppard's only #1 song ("Love Bites"), and is one of three albums ever that has charted seven singles or more on the US Hot 100: "Women" (#80), "Animal" (#19), "Hysteria" (#10), "Pour Some Sugar On Me" (#2), "Love Bites" (#1), "Armageddon It" (#3), and "Rocket" (#12). It's an album that I can still listen to over and over again and not get tired of it. Favorite Songs: "Pour Some Sugar On Me," "Women"
3. The Beatles - The Beatles (aka, The White Album) (1968). Picking my favorite Beatles album is like picking my favorite sexual position. I love 'em all, but the weirdest one that takes the most time wins. The White Album is my favorite Beatles album because of its diversity of song types. The White Album has hard rock ("Helter Skelter"), ballads ("Julia"), social commentary ("Piggies"), love songs ("I Will"), soul ("Why Don't We Do It In the Road?"), double entendre ("Happiness Is a Warm Gun"), vaudevillian throwbacks ("Honey Pie"), blues ("Yer Blues"), fun songs ("Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da," "Rocky Raccoon"), and some straight-up weird shit ("Revolution 9"). The Beatles seamlessly combined all of that into an epic double album. Favorite Songs: "Happiness Is a Warm Gun," "Sexy Sadie"
4. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Axis: Bold As Love (1967). I love Jimi Hendrix, and picking out a favorite album was tough, but Axis: Bold As Love edged the others out. The album featured innovative, pioneering guitar techniques, and it was on this album that Jimi's songwriting really blossomed, almost to the point where it matched his guitar playing (although it's probably impossible for anything to match his guitar playing). Many songs on the album feature imaginative (probably acid-induced) lyrics ("Up From the Skies," "Spanish Castle Magic," "One Rainy Wish," "Bold As Love"), including "Little Wing," which I consider to be Jimi's best written song ever. "One Rainy Wish" features my favorite Hendrix moment, which occurs at the end of the first verse, when the guitar kind of hangs on to a note and that then the chorus starts ("I have never laid eyes on you..."). I get chills every time I hear it. Seriously. Favorite Songs: "Little Wing," "One Rainy Wish"
5. The Doors - The Doors (1967). My dad used to play this album for me when I was a kid (I do believe it was a tape of his LP). This was the album that introduced the world to the dark and brilliant songwriting of Jim Morrison (who I think is probably the greatest front man in rock history). A stark contrast to the flower power, hippie-dippy music that ruled the airwaves in 1967, this album featured well-crafted pop ("I Looked At You"), surreal oedipal mini-operas ("The End"), blues covers (Willie Dixon's "Back Door Man"), German drinking songs ("Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)"), and two of the most famous Doors songs ("Light My Fire" and "Break On Through"). Favorite Songs: "Soul Kitchen," "Take It As It Comes"
6. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells (2002). Choosing a White Stripes album was also tough, but I chose this one because it was the album that broke them onto the national scene and the album that I think, along with the Strokes' first album, really catapulted the new garage rock genre. Also, it was the first White Stripes album I bought, and I was baffled that this much sound could come from only 2 people (and with no bass guitar). Then I found out that it was recorded in less than a week and I nearly shit myself. It's a generally blues-inspired album (as are most of their albums), featuring their first commercial hits ("Fell In Love With a Girl," "Dead Leaves On the Dirty Ground," and "We're Going to Be Friends"), songs inspired by (and completely comprised of lines from) Citizen Kane ("The Union Forever"), and sardonic and sometimes cold views about love and relationships ("Expecting," "I'm Finding It Harder to Be a Gentleman," "Offend In Every Way," "I Can't Wait," "Now Mary"). Favorite Songs: "Hotel Yorba," "Offend In Every Way"
7. Guns 'N Roses - Appetite For Destruction (1987). I'll never forget where I was the first time I heard Slash's now-famous intro to "Sweet Child O' Mine": sitting on the floor of my friend Patrick Kelley's living room in Germantown, Tennessee when it came on MTV. It was one of those "holy shit" moments. Appetite For Destruction was everything that a 9-year-old could want: ball-busting rock and roll, peppered with swearing, in an album that featured a cartoon of a naked chick's would-be robo-skeletal rapist about to be killed by some giant bug with knives for teeth. I couldn't believe my mom actually let me buy it. Needless to say, it's a great album that has stood the test of time better than expected. Favorite Songs: "Rocket Queen," "Mr. Brownstone"
8. N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton (1989). I went under my parents' nose for this one. I'm not sure that any album has better exemplified my struggles growing up as a middle-class white male in LaGrange, Illinois than Straight Outta Compton. But seriously, I love this album. As a middle-school student, its brutally honest subject matter opened my eyes to things that I had never really thought about before (cops being evil, drug abuse, drug dealing, gang violence, life in the hood, etc.). It's one of the few albums I can go years without listening to and still remember every word. I consider this album to be the most influential rap album of all-time, ushering in the gangsta rap era and influencing rap and hip-hop for years to come. How could it not be when it was made by a group comprised of Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, MC Ren, and Yella? Favorite Songs: "Fuck Tha Police," "8 Ball"
9. Beck - Odelay (1996). It's Beck at his best: weird, innovative, musically interesting, and catchy, all at the same time. Plus, he played all the instruments, or so I read once. You've probably heard "Where It's At," "New Pollution," Jack-Ass," or "Devil's Haircut," and you know how awesome those songs are. The rest of the album is just as good. I don't know what else to say about it. Favorite Songs: "Lord Only Knows," "Novacane"
10. Velvet Underground - Velvet Underground and Nico (1967). A lot of people don't like Velvet Underground, and that's because a lot of people are idiots. This was their debut album, made while they were still affiliated with Andy Warhol, and it featured honest and gritty lyrics (mainly courtesy of Lou Reed) combined with edgy, unpolished, and sometimes experimental music (they had a viola player, for Christ's sake). It was basically punk rock before there was such a thing, except the lyrics were better and it was far more intricate. And to top it off, they had a German supermodel (Nico) sing some of the songs ("Femme Fatale," "All Tomorrow's Parties," and "I'll Be Your Mirror"). The album featured poppy songs ("Sunday Morning"), eerie love songs ("I'll Be Your Mirror"), songs about waiting for a drug dealer ("I'm Waiting For The Man"), songs that could very well be featured in a Fellini film ("Black Angel's Death Song"), and seven-minute songs about heroin addiction featuring a droning viola ("Heroin"). Favorite Songs: "Heroin," "I'll Be Your Mirror"

Second Team (in order)

1. Outkast - Speakerboxx/The Love Below (2003). A phenomenal double album that really can't be characterized as fitting into one particular genre. "Hey Ya!" is one of the best pop songs ever written. Favorite Songs: "Hey Ya!," "The Rooster"
2. Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run (1975). Somehow I just got this album on CD for Christmas (I have it on vinyl, but only listened to it once or twice), and I can't stop listening to it. It has a strange combination of sincerity, hope, and frantic youthfulness. At some point in the future, it very well may be on the First Team. Favorite Songs: "Thunder Road," "Born to Run"
3. Weezer - Weezer (the Blue Album) (1994). A great debut album with well-written and catchy songs. I can listen to it over and over without getting sick of it. Favorite Songs: "No One Else," "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here"
4. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991). This album brought grunge to the forefront, changed music forever, and started Kurt Cobain's downfall. Favorite Songs: "Breed," "Lounge Act"
5. The Allman Brothers Band - The Fillmore Concerts (1971). One of the best live albums ever, taped about seven months before Duane Allman died (six years to the day before I was born). Favorite Songs: "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed," "One Way Out"
6. Otis Redding - Otis Blue (1966). I think Otis Redding is the best soul singer ever, and this is the album (in which he was backed by Booker T. & The MGs) that put him on the map. Favorite Songs: "I've Been Loving You Too Long," "Rock Me Baby"
7. Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin II (1969). Straight English blues and hard rock, ushering in the beginnings of heavy metal. Favorite Songs: "What Is and What Should Never Be," "Bring It On Home"
8. Snoop Doggy Dogg - Doggystyle (1993). My second favorite rap album is a classic that you all should own or at least know, bi-atch. Favorite Songs: "Ain't No Fun," "Gz and Hustlas"
9. The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers (1971). This is my favorite Stones album because it's raw, bluesy, sometimes sentimental, and the kind of album that you can just get wrecked to. Plus, it's original cover, designed by Andy Warhol and complete with a real zipper, is one of the better album covers ever. Favorite Songs: "Can't You Hear Me Knocking," "Moonlight Mile"
10. The Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols (1977). Released the day before I was born, it's probably the biggest "fuck you" album of all-time, and probably the most influential punk album. Favorite Songs: "Bodies," "Pretty Vacant"

Honorable Mention (alphabetically by artist)

1. 50 Cent - Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2003)
2. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1966)
3. Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique (1989)
4. The Black Crowes - The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion (1992)
5. The Black Keys - Rubber Factory (2004)
6. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Willy and The Poor Boys (1969)
7. Dr. Dre - The Chronic (1992)
8. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisted (1965)
9. Fatboy Slim - You've Come A Long Way, Baby (1998)
10. Foo Fighters - The Colour and the Shape (1997)
11. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On (1971)
12. George Harrison - All Things Must Pass (1970)
13. Kaiser Chiefs - Employment (2005)
14. The Killers - Hot Fuss (2004)
15. King Konga - Halo (1999)
16. KISS - Alive II (1977)
17. Louis XIV - The Best Little Secrets Are Kept (2005)
18. John Mellencamp - Scarecrow (1985)
19. Van Morrison - Moondance (1970)
20. Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood (1989)
21. Of a Revolution (O.A.R) - The Wanderer (1997)
22. Pearl Jam - Ten (1991)
23. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Damn the Torpedoes (1979)
24. Razorlight - Up All Night (2005)
25. Santana - Santana III (1971)
26. Skid Row - Skid Row (1989)
27. Stone Temple Pilots - Core (1992)
28. The Strokes - Is This It? (2001)
29. Muddy Waters - Muddy "Mississippi" Waters Live (1979)
30. Andrew W.K. - I Get Wet (2002)

So there it is. Deal with it.