"Stop Your Stallin' and Your Bitchin'"

Man, I'm busy as a beaver today, which is ironic, since it's Hair Band Friday and there's a parade of beaver in my office. Currently blasting from my stereo is a favorite of mine (and a repeat player), Def Leppard's "High 'N Dry," as well as Warrant's "Cherry Pie" and Skid Row's "Skid Row." I have pretty much been drunk out of my mind since I got into the office this morning. It's hard not to be when there are like 15 chicks in my office willing to do anything to see me write an angry letter to opposing counsel. Who am I to disappoint them?

Last night's The OC was pretty solid. I won't bore you with the details, since I assume that you saw it, but I will point out my personal highlights:

1. Kaitlin Cooper went back to boarding school, which is fine with me. Her sauciness and Lolita-like qualities could not make up for the fact that I wanted to slap her in the mouth everytime she opened it.
2. It's official: Johnny and his shitty-ass haircut are dead. Personally, I think he should have been dead a long time ago, like in the first trimester. But in the end, the fact that I never have to look at his pathetic face again is refreshing.
3. Some hippie chick with a mustache (who is apparently Johnny's cousin) comes to town for Johnny's funeral and to help out Johnny's mom while she's dealing with the loss of her pathetic, inappropriately hirsute son. The plotline seems to be setting itself up for this girl (named Sadie) to woo Ryan away from Marissa. I don't find this believable because Marissa is good looking all the time, while Sadie (shown to the right) is good looking only in certain lighting (much like the Seinfeld episode). One thing Sadie does have going for her is that she looks more like Teresa (the woman Ryan unkowingly has a child with) than Marissa does. Either way, a little wax on the upper lip can't hurt.
4. Marissa made 2 comments regarding her lack of eating, one of which was something along the lines of "and I'm obviously not hungry." Obviously.
5. Volchok, the Eastern Bloc pillow-biting surfer who Ryan intimidated into submission, is back, and he somehow knows Sadie. How many times is Ryan going to have to act like he's going to gut Volchok like a fish with a broken wine bottle before Volchok gets the point that no one likes him? My guess is 2.