US Curling Update - 2/20/06

The past few days have been of vital importance to the US Men's and Women's curling squads. On the men's side, the US team defied the odds to go 6-3 in the Round Robin, which was good enough to advance to the medal round. They will battle Canada (to whom they lost today in a meaningless final match) in the semifinals on Wednesday at 7pm TT (1pm EST). It should be a close, hard-fought match. I have no doubt that US skip Pete Fenson will be ready to drop the hammer on the Canadians, both figuratively and literally. A win over the Canadians ensures America's best medal ever (and second medal ever) in curling.

The US Women's Olympic dreams have officially been crushed into oblivion. Relying heavily on the maxim that it's better to burn out than fade away, the lovely ladies of the ice ended up at 2-7, a far cry from their 2nd place showing at last year's World Championships in Paisley, Scotland. In Tornio, they lost 4 matches by a combined 4 points, including 3 of those in extra ends. Those four games were the difference between 2-7 and the medal round. In their last match, against Great Britain, the US women conceded after the 6th end while down 10-4. A sad ending to a horrifying Olympics for what many in and out of the sport believe to be the hottest women's curling team of all-time.

To say that the US Women's team's performace was a disappointment would be as profound as saying that Lindsey Jacobellis is a moron or that Bode Miller deserves a merciless cock punching. They missed their chance at becoming the Mary Lou Rettons of these 20th Winter Olympic Games. At least skip Cassie Johnson (pictured), a Scorpio seductress with the eyes of a wolf and the girl-next-door doability of a young Jennifer Love Hewitt, will be able to fall back on her graphic design degree from Bemidji State.