Another Great SBTB Set

What great Saved By The Bells this morning, and I had to fight to watch some of them. I got to the gym a little after 6, and there are a fair amount of treadmills, ellipticals, and bikes that have their own TVs attached (but not all of them do). Hence, when I am doing cardio, I bring my headphones to plug into SBTB. The first treadmill I happened upon had a working TV, but the audio didn't work. Unacceptable. So I spotted 2 open treadmills with TVs. I get to the first one and the TV won't turn on. Bullshit. So I head to the 2nd one, and the TV works. But the treadmill doesn't. God hates me. Finally I found a bike where the TV worked, although the picture was a bit fuzzy.

Despite the fuzzy picture, it was an enjoyable ride. The 6am SBTB episode was from the Miss Bliss years, and it featured mall-pop star Stevie, who was an alum of JFK Jr. High. Stevie was making a stop back in her hometown and was for some reason staying with Miss Bliss.

It is announced that Stevie will be playing a concert at JFK, and she's going to invite one lucky JFK student on stage with her. Zack and Nikki (the puffy cheeked annoying chick that went to JFK with Zack, not the bassist for the Crue) make a ridiculous bet that Stevie will kiss Zack.

To win said bet, Zack pretends he has "deskarosis," a disease with only symptom: it results in death. So Zack fools the world and Stevie chooses him to come on stage. Ever the cunning runt, Miss Bliss is hip to Zack's BS, and figures out his ruse the day before the show.

Meanwhile, Stevie (real name Colleen) is coming to grips with life on the road. She finds out that she got into Notre Dame. I found this completely implausible, as she was far too attractive to attend Notre Dame.

Zack heads to Miss Bliss's house to apologize to her for the deskarosis incident (I know I would always go to my teachers' houses when I had something to say to them). Miss Bliss isn't home, but Colleen is (and is not wearing the wig she wears as Stevie). After some back and forth between Zack and Colleen, Colleen gives Zack a peck on the cheek. Zack's all, "What the fuck is your name?" and Colleen/Stevie's all "My friends call me 'Colleen'" (by "My friends call me" she actually meant "If you weren't such a junior high fag, later tonight I would have you screaming in ecstacy")

The next day at school is Stevie's last concert ever. She has Screech up on stage while she sings 20 seconds of her hit song "Hotline to Your Heart (Emergency)," a song that rivals any of the fake SBTB bands' songs. After the concert (which lasted only for that 20 seconds), Stevie comes down off the stage, and Zack says something stupid like "Great show Stevie," even though it wasn't, since she only played for 20 seconds. Then Stevie's all "My friends call me Colleen." Zack tries to convince Nikki that he won the bet, but she's not buying it. Zack is visibly frustrated, not only because he lost the bet, but also because he realizes he could have nailed Stevie (probably some freaky Kama Sutra shit too), in Miss Bliss's house no less. This may have been the most important event that prompted Zack to move to California before the next season.

The next episode, also from the Miss Bliss years, was the one where Zack is trying to join the Rigmas, which, based on what I could tell from the 2 Rigmas on the show, was some sort of club for future metrosexuals named Trevor. It's a great episode (but then again, aren't they all?) because it teaches that the value of friendship is more important than some stupid red jacket. Man, I fucking hate Rigmas.

I didn't see the 7am episode because I was getting ready for work, but I'm sure it was better than nearly everything else that will be shown on TV today.

The 7:30am episode was the first episode of the Bayside years. With no explanation whatsoever, Zack, Screech, Lisa, and Mr. Belding have moved from Indianapolis to California and have been brainwashed into believing that they had always lived in Cali. Whatevs -- it still kicked ass. This was the episode where we are introduced to Kelly, Jessie, Slater, and Mr. Dewey. In fact, it was Slater's first day of school at Bayside. He said that he had been to 14 different schools in the past 3 years. I found that hard to believe, until I realized what a total badass heartbreaker he must have been, and to stay at those other schools only would have resulted in more broken hearts, lost lives, and pinned opposing wrestlers. Plus his jeri curl mullet was probably more than most people outside of Bayside could take.

Since I had to leave for work, I hit the record button on the DVR. I have to believe that this exact situation is the one for which Buddha invented DVR.