Friday, September 01, 2006

This Is Still Going On?

You may recall my May 18, 2006 post regarding a man standing in the Daley Center Plaza with a sign pleading for an FBI agent to "stop raping [his] wife." It seems that Edgar Bellefontaine (as I named him) is back, and one thing is very clear: The rapings have not ceased, and his previous attempts to stop the rapings have proved to be fruitless. The cause? An ineffective sign. But all that has changed, and the future is now for fair Edgar.

I unabashedly took this photo of Edgar as he stood brazenly on the outskirts of the Daley Center Plaza near the corner of Clark and Washington:
As you can see, instead of trying to physically stop the rapings, he has wasted even more time making an even more elaborate and colorful sign to attract the attention of the FBI agent so that maybe -- just maybe -- these transgressions will finally come to an end. More important than the fact that he failed to stop said rapings in order to make a totally sweet sign is the fact that I have now figured out "Horace Mayweather's" real name: Chris Saviano. Rest assured, I have my sources looking into whether he is in any way related to Josh Saviano, who played Paul Pfieffer on The Wonder Years, perhaps the most annoying character in TV history aside from the hobgoblin who portrayed Janice Dickinson on The Surreal Life.

Additionally, there is a second name on Edgar's hit list, who he lists as "Out Law No. 2": Jane (I think) M. Metz, who Edgar claims is the President of the ACLU. It's unclear from the sign whether the addition of Metz is a result of Edgar's affiliation with the Alliance Defense Fund or simply because the ACLU refused to take a case in which a paranoid schizophrenic who likes to wear wool overcoats in the middle of summer accused a non-existent FBI agent of raping the wife he never had.

All of these questions could have been answered had I asked Edgar, but I have no intentions of getting stabbed with a pen knife (as I'm sure he had on his person) or, worse yet, being Out Law No. 3 on Edgar's next sign.

3 comments:

GMYH said...

Oh, I forgot Harriet Brindle, the red-headed, meddling next-door neighbor to the Lawsons in Small Wonder. She is actually the most annoying character in the history of television or film, even more annoying that Paul Pfieffer and Janice Dickinson combined. Interestingly, Emily Schulman, the whore who played Harriet, was Kevin's love interest in an episode of The Wonder Years. It's safe to assume that was the most annoying episode of any TV show in history (and I love The Wonder Years).

Beth said...

She was also one of the the little girls in the movie Troop Beverly Hills. Luckily she did not completely ruin that fantastic film. (Seriously--I kind of love that movie. I don't know why.)

barry allen said...

i actually saw a different guy with the same sign somewhere else in chicago--trying to remember where--i think it was down by the federal buildings on Jackson.

how am i sure he was a different guy? he was black. duany duany black. no mistaking that kind of complexion for another. apparently both this saviano is quite the ladies' man.

RobD