Midwestern Eavesdropping - 9/28/06

Here you go, kids:

Preppie: "I'll be over in 20, drinking shoes on."
Hipster: "Are you bringing me any halfway decent beer?"
Preppie: "Halfway decent? Define."
Hipster: "If you have to ask, nevermind."
Preppie: "I have 6 Nattys and half a bottle of Boone's Farm."
Hipster: "Before the night is over, I will kill you."
--Bloomington, IN, Qdoba, 4th and Indiana
Eavesdropper: RobD

A young couple walking down Fullerton at about 2AM. The couple is obviously arguing and the girlfriend must have said something that annoyed the boyfriend as he was making a mouthing symbol with his hand in the girlfriend's general direction:
Boyfriend: "Blah Blah Blah . . ."
Girlfriend: "Blah blah blah your fucking face!"
--Chicago, somewhere on Fullerton Ave.
Eavesdropper: Klank

Hipster: "So how was Europe ?"
Twin 1: "After we got done racing, Robert Gary, the Ohio State coach, wouldn't stop talking about this brewery in Liege."
Twin 2: "I guess it's the best beer in the world, but you can't order it, you have to go there."
Twin 1: "He wouldn't stop talking about it. He was obsessed."
Twin 2: "Yeah it was weird, but it's good stuff, and it was like two miles from our hotel."
Hipster: "So was it worth it? Good shit?"
Twin 1: "We didn't go."
--Bloomington, IN, Nick's English Hut, Kirkwood & Dunn
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething female: "How was the wedding?"
Twentysomething male: "Good. We took the ice sculpture from the reception up to our hotel room. Then we made an ice luge and did shots off of it."
--Chicago, Washington & Wells L platform
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Well-endowed slut: "I hear you broke up with your girlfriend recently. That sucks. I'm sorry."
Drunk guy: "Yeah, what can I say, shit happens."
Well-endowed slut: "It's too bad I have a boyfriend and can't do you."
Drunk guy: "Yeah, that is too bad. What the fuck?"
--Bloomington, IN, DP Dough, Kirkwood & Dunn
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething female asking twentysomething male apparently about his friend's ex-girlfriend: "Is he still fraternizing about with 'Meat Hooks'?"
--Chicago, crowded rush hour Purple Line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thanks to those who contributed. Remember, when you overhear something hilarious, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in Midwestern Eavesdropping. If you don't, then I shall kill you.

In case you haven't heard, Dustin "Screech" Diamond is back in the news. Not for trying to sell t-shirts to save his house. And not for getting accosted at a hotel. This is much worse. Apparently there is a sex tape floating around out there, in which Screech and TWO women engage in sexual activities, including -- not even kidding -- a Dirty Sanchez. The working title of this hopefully-never-released tape is Saved By The Smell. How the hell am I supposed to eat my Frosted Mini Wheats without throwing up while watching Screech hopelessly pursue Lisa Turtle every morning? Special thanks go out to Greg Weeser*, Jaleh, and Tron for each sending me a different article on the subject, thus ruining my life.