Friday, September 01, 2006

"The Time Has Passed for Choices"

It's a somber fucking day here on Hair Band Friday. My partner in crime (and law), Steev OD'd after mixing several speedballs with several hits of acid right after pulling an all-nighter writing a monster lien waiver, trying, in his words to "see my soul and then fuck it." He must have been a good lay because he was dead by the time the paramedics got here. Even though I know he would have wanted me to totally rock out today in his absence, I have kept it a little bit more mellow than usual. Granted, my speakers are still on full-blast, but the songs are a bit more morose, such as the last three: "See You On the Other Side" by Ozzy, "Don't Close Your Eyes" by Kix, and "I Remember You" by Skid Row. The ladies are kind of down as well. Kat was particularly in need of consoling because Steev introduced Kat to her first gangbang at this firm, so he's kinda got a special place in her heart. I think that's what made it extra special for her when I fucked her to sleep to stop her from crying. Ain't no better consolation than a raging orgasm, or so the saying goes. And just to be safe, I downed a bottle of Jack, wrote a killer research memo, penetrated some very willing chick named Michele with a rather large roll of architectural drawings (her suggestion, not mine), and sent a letter to Scott Stapp threatening castration and a slow, painful death, because I know that's what Steev would have wanted me to do. Rest In Peace man.

Speaking of hair bands, I am currently reading Fargo Rock City by Chuck Klosterman. It is not about some sort of burgeoning rock scene in Fargo, as the title might lead you to believe. Rather, it's all about hair bands, metal bands, glam metal bands, etc., and their cultural and musical impact. I like it, and I think anyone who likes hair bands will especially like it. Anyway, there was one quote that I felt I had to share. He was discussing the use of dolphins in the Guns N' Roses "Estranged" video. Here is the quote (pp. 224-25):

"I find it necessary to admit that long before this video was ever conceived I had a substantial prejudice against dolphins. They are my least favorite member of the animal kingdom. Everyone seems to think dolphins are cute and "intelligent," but they're best described as ugly and impractical. I don't want to come across as insensitive, but show me a person whose intelligence equates to that of a dolphin and I will show you a fucking retard. In my opinion, they are the most overrated mammals on the planet."
In unrelated news, college football started last night, and I'm pumped. I'm going down to B-town tomorrow for what will hopefully be a convincing Hoosier victory over the Broncos of Western Michigan.

The number of victories left until IU secures a Motor City Bowl berth: 6 (I hope this changes from week to week, eventually reaching zero, however unlikely that may be)

Happy September and Labor Day.

AL Central
1. Detroit 83-51 -- (28)
2. White Sox 78-55 4.5 (29) (holdin', but still creepin')

AL Wild Card
1. White Sox 78-55 -- (29)
2. Minnesota 77-55 0.5 (30)

NL Wild Card
1. San Diego 68-65 -- (29)
2. Philadelphia 67-66 1.0 (29)
3. Cincinnati 67-67 1.5 (28)
4. San Francisco 66-68 2.5 (28)
4. Astros 66-68 2.5 (28) (creepin' like you don't even know)
6. Florida 65-68 3.0 (29)
7. Arizona 64-69 4.0 (29)
8. Atlanta 63-69 4.5 (30)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I knew you would appreciate Fargo Rock City.

My favorite line in the book: "Yngwie Malmsteen we never knew ye."