Midwestern Eavesdropping - 6/14/07

Here you go:

70-year-old man in fast food rest room, to complete stranger coming out of the lone stall: "Boy am I glad you're coming outta here!" (he then slams the door shut and slams the toilet seat down)
--Wanatah, IN, Burger King
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Usually mild-mannered twentysomething male at late-night diner, right before he gets into a fight: "Dude, you know if he's from the South Side, he's carrying a blade."
--Chicago, diner, Ashland & Irving Park
Eavesdropper: AlyK

Two males in business attire sit on a bench outside an office building during evening rush, having what appears to be a normal conversation. One says to the other (completely serious): "I just really don't want to hang out with you anymore."
--Chicago, Madison & Wacker
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething male: "I gotta slow down. Last night was brutal."
Twentysomething female: "Don't be a such a goddamn pussy."
Twentysomething male: "I woke up this morning in the South Loop on top of my buddy's roommate's bed, no covers, nothing on top of me, in sunglasses with my pants around my ankles. What would you do?"
--Chicago, Kincaid's, Armitage & Sheffield
Eavesdropper: RobD

Tall thin blonde in short skirt, with headband and attitude walks into bar after last call. Complete stranger says to her: "Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be on house arrest?"
(obviously this occurred before Paris went back to jail)
--Chicago, Fado, Clark & Ontario
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Puppeteer: "Hey man, you broke my equipment."
30something male: "Oh shit, dude, my bad... shit. Here." (Tries to help)
Drunk guy stepping in, waving arms wildly, knocking 30something guy aside: "Don't apologize to him! He's a puppeteer! He's weeeeeeiiiirdddd!!"
[puppeteer and 30something male both run off in opposite directions]
--Chicago, Oz Park, Dickens & Burling
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething male, looking down row of restaurant booths at street festival, completely perplexed and oblivious to the purpose of the street festival, says to his girlfriend in a tone suggesting that he is annoyed: "It's all barbeque!"
--Chicago, Ribfest, Lincoln & Irving Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Administrative assistant on speakerphone: "Look, I said we need somebody this week to facilitate a transition period."
Temp Agency: "Now, you listen here, lady--"
Administrative assistant on speakerphone: "Ooookay now you need to fuck off."
--Chicago, law firm, Washington & Wacker
Eavesdropper: RobD

Blind guy #1: "Did you take any notes at the seminar?"
Blind guy #2: "No, I didn't write anything down."
--Chicago, Ribfest, Lincoln & Irving Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Another one that's kind of eavesdropping:
"I am not sure how to describe what happened friday night. [Three of my friends] and I were at the Roscoe Village Tap on Roscoe on Friday night. There we met a guy named Benji who was as pissed at the Cubs as we were. He proceeded to show us his bad ass Gene Simmons tattoo and down Irish car bombs with [male 1] and [male 2]. And then the night took a turn for the worse. I get up to go to the bathroom and when I get back [female 2] tells me not to look directly at Benji, but to turn an ear into his and [male 2]'s conversation. Apparently, what I had missed was this: Benji took an empty pint glass and began smashing it into his family jewels six or seven times, saying, "Look what i can do. I don't feel anything because I dont have any balls!" Sadly, he went into detail, telling us his childhood struggle with medicine to find a way to make his balls drop. He offered to show us but we politely declined."
--Chicago, Roscoe Village Tap, Roscoe & Damen
Eavesdropper: AlyK

Thanks to all who contributed. And for you other sorry-listening mofos, overhear something funny already, and email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com so that it can be included in Midwestern Eavesdropping.