King of the World

While walking to work this morning, a homeless man seemed to say "What's up, Andrew?" as I walked passed him. No one else was around me. I have never seen this man before and, chances are, I will never see this man again. This encounter confirms that I am the king of the world.

You see folks, as a testament to our respective abilities to have childhood delusions of self-aggrandizement, "Red Cobra" Ball and I each independently had "king of the world" theories as children. It's very similar to the Truman Show, and it goes like this: What if I am the king of the world, and everyone knows it but me? For the most part, people around the world go about their daily lives, but nothing around me or that affects me is random. The kids that I went to school with were there because their parents paid giant sums of money for their children to grow up near me and potentially encounter me. Some people are told to act indifferent towards me, some people are told to be nice to me, and some people are told to be dicks. When someone walks by me on the sidewalk, it's because they paid to do so. The kicker is that no one (including my parents) is allowed to tell me that I am the king of the world or even hint that everything in the world is not as it seems to me. If anyone were to tell me that, they would be summarily executed soon thereafter. Thus, I will never know that I am the king of the world -- until the time is proper, of course.

The beauty about this theory is that no one can ever prove me wrong. If someone tells me that I'm not the king of the world, I know they're lying. They have to keep up the ruse. Or else they die.