I'm at the Foreclosure Sale Just In Time to See the House Fly By

In case you haven't heard, our dear friend Dustin Diamond, who is better known around the world as Screech from Saved By The Bell, is in a bit of a pickle. It seems that his house in Port Washington, Wisconsin is going to be sold in a foreclosure sale if he doesn't come up with $250,000. In order to raise the money, he is selling t-shirts at www.getdshirts.com. $15 gets you a t-shirt that, on the front, has a picture of a disheveled Diamond holding up a sign that says "Save My House," and on the back, it says "I paid $15.00 to save Screeech's house." For $5 more, you can get an autographed t-shirt. I guess he has to put an extra "e" in Screech for copyright reasons. Poor Screech. This is worse than the time he had to wrestle Nedick while Slater had temporarily quit wrestling to find a career. Sadly, though, there's no Slater to bail him out this time just before he gets bodyslammed.

As a diehard SBTB fan (I watch it every morning before work), I am torn. On one hand, I want to help Screech even more than Jessie wanted to get into Stanford. On the other hand, I feel like he should be taught a lesson, not unlike those doled out by Miss Bliss. Also, Dustin Diamond isn't exactly the most sympathetic of the SBTB alumni. If it were Lark Voorhies, I'd buy a couple hundred shirts. And can't the Zack Attack reunite for a quick tour to raise the money? Or what about another couple celebrity boxing matches? He beat Horshack's ass that one time, so why not put him up against Urkle, Paul from The Wonder Years, or Janice from Head of the Class? I'd pay good money to see Screech knock Janice out.

The way I see it, we have 2 options:

1. Buy a t-shirt and actually try to help him.
2. Let the motherfucker burn and buy his house at the foreclosure sale. How cool would it be to say that you live in Screech's old house?

So who's with me? Who wants to go buy Screech's house?