Midwestern Eavesdropping - 6/29/06

I told you this week was a little thin. Dammit, I expect better eavesdropping results next week, especially considering the long, drunken, holiday weekend.

Teenage girl (during discussion of strange eating habits): "My brother dips Oreos in garlic sauce."
--Chicago, Purple Line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Dude 1: "I just don't like it when her friends are around. I feel like I have to entertain everyone."
Dude 2: "Isn't it her party, so she has to entertain people, not you?"
Dude 1: "Yeah, but then I feel like I can't do what I want to be doing."
Dude 2: "What do you want to be doing, dude?"
Dude 1: "I want to be doing HER! ... Man, I'm gonna be on overheard in Chicago or some shit. That was loud."
--Chicago, Einstein Bagel, Rush & Walton
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething white female within earshot of female flight attendant with a very loud voice who was speaking over the plane's loudspeaker: "Hey Squawkbox, you don't need to use the microphone."
--ATA flight 4225 from NY-LaGuardia to Chicago-Midway just after landing in Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Mid-50s housewife, talking extremely loud on her cell phone, not giving a damn how loud or where she is: "I'll have to make sure Carol knows where to go."
Mid-20s college student, thumbing through a Maxim, practically yelling (and echoing the entire store's sentiments): "Is Carol hard of hearing?"
--Columbus, OH, Barnes & Noble
Eavesdropper: Ulltimate Lactose Hater

Lincoln Park Trixie talking loudly on cell phone to her mother, apparently not realizing that it's late June and not mid April: "Oh, and tell Daddy to give me a call. I think I need to file my tax return."
--Chicago, crowded Brown Line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

As usual, we have a submission that isn't technically eavesdropping, but still worthy of inclusion. Here it is:
"I was on the Purple Line this morning at around 8:45, listening to some music, and saw a 40+ year old woman, wearing a conservative business suit, looking like she was probably fairly well off. She was also listening to music on her iPod and I just kind of glanced over to see if I could see what she was listening to, out of curiosity. I didn't see the exact name of the song, but I clearly saw that she was listening to the Geto Boys."
--Chicago, Purple Line train
Eavesdropper: Trashton
(I can only hope it was either "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" or "Mind of a Lunatic," described by Wikipedia as a "graphic portrayal of rape, necrophilia, and murder")

Let's see if we can't pick it up a little bit for next week. Don't make me threaten castration. Despite how beautiful your singing voice may be as a result, no chick wants to hook up with a castrato. For the female GMYH readers, I shant threaten castration because God and/or Darwin already took care of that. Nor will I threaten an oophorectomy. Instead, I'll simply threaten to chop your legs off at the knees. Despite the fact that you're currently 6'7" and you think said chopping would make you a reasonable height, no dude wants to hook up with a chick with no feet. I don't want either of these horrible options to come to fruition, so please email your eavesdroppings to gmyhblog@yahoo.com. Save yourself. Save others. If nothing else, do it for the children.