Scorpio Pimps

There are two -- and only two -- items of interest in today's melange of otherwise worthless news.

First, completely unsurprisingly, scorpion venom cures brain cancer. Here's an excerpt from the article saying so:

About 17,000 U.S. residents suffer high-grade gliomas, a form of brain cancer that is usually fatal. A protein in venom from the yellow Israeli scorpion has been found to bind preferentially to the glioma cells, so scientists have created a synthetic version that does not by itself kill a patient. (emphasis added)

Good to hear that scientists have made the synthetic version of the venom non-deadly to patients. Otherwise, I think the whole exercise would be counterproductive. As a Scorpio, I always knew that I was more special than anyone who was of another Zodiac sign, and this just proves it because I can cure cancer. This is ironic, of course, because a Cancer can't. Sure, they can get cancer, but so can anyone with a boob or a prostate these days.

Second, rather than focusing his time on the real issues affecting the US, some overzealous Senator from Iowa (where, incidentally, there are no prostitutes) is seeking to tax pimps. It's actually kind of creative. The idea is that pimps are employers, and therefore, the pimps who don't file W-2s for each of their hos will violate the tax code, and a pimp will get 10 years in jail for each ho without a W-2. Aside from the obvious constitutional problems (I think I recently learned that pimps are a protected class under Equal Protection Clause analysis and, thus, giving them 10 years for each violation while not doing the same to other employers would raise serious constitutional problems), the logisitics of enforcing this thing would seem to outweigh any benefits. It's not like each pimp has a list of hos who work for him, and if some do, they're definitely getting rid of them now. It'll be interesting to see how those fat cats in Washington treat this, considering most of them rely on call girls to support their ever-burgeoning libidos and perverse sexual fantasies their wives refer to as "grody." Why don't we just legalize it, regulate it, and tax the hell out of it? That way, Sen. Grassley gets his precious "W-2 for each ho" rule, and we can all sleep better at night knowing not only that the BJ we just got won't leave us with the clap, but also that the boss of the undereducated but orally talented woman administering said BJ is going to be paying taxes on it. This way, EVERYBODY WINS.