Midwestern Eavesdropping - 10/12/06

Here are this week's lovely submissions:

Several people describing the taste of a shot of Malort:
Male 1: "It tastes like a shot of earwax."
Male 2: "You know those jogging suits that wrestlers wear to help them lose weight? Well, imagine someone was jogging in one of those for five miles, then they lifted one of the pant legs and gathered leg sweat into a shot glass."
Female 1: "Oh God, it tastes like melted plastic."
Female 2: "It tastes like pre-puke."
--Chicago, Roscoe Village Pub, Leavitt & Addison
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Girl: "Yeah, she ran into some guy she hooked up with on spring break her senior year of high school."
Guy: "Yeah, she said they made out or something."
Girl: "Ha ha! When Jenny says she made out with a guy, she's lying."
Guy: "Really. What does it mean then?"
Girl: "She sucked him off. Jenny doesn't make out. Jenny straight sucks - guys - off. Jenny sucks everyone off."
--Chicago, Schoolyard Tavern, School & Southport
Eavesdropper: RobD

Trader #1, having a bad day screaming across the pit: "Go ahead take my car, my house, my wife, my kids."
Trader #2 (with 2 daughters and no sons) on the other side of the pit screams back: "I'll take an athletic boy."
Trader #1 "That sounded a little creepy, Congressman Foley"
--Chicago Board of Trade bond option pit
Eavesdropper: Catfish

Attorney deposes idiot:
Attorney: " So, you don't have any military experience, do you?"
Idiot: "No, but I used to be in the Navy."
--Dayton, OH
Eavesdropper: The Farty Moose (via Holt)

Girl to guy at bar: "I want to suck your sack."
Random guy then turns head and stares at girl until she walks away, completely cock blocking the potential sack suckee.
--Cincinnati, RP McMurphy's
Eavesdropper: Tron

Nerdy Girl 1: "Oooh! Vishnu!"
Uppity Skank: "No, it's Kalki, you dunce."
Nerdy Girl 1: "Oh. Whatever, I can't tell, all those motherfuckers have eight arms."
--Bloomington, IN, IU School of Law, Room 124
Eavesdropper: RobD

Partygoer #1 to Partygoer #2 after being told a story involving #2's questionable moral behavior with his college girlfriend: "In some ways you're my hero. In some ways you should be in jail."
--Brookfield, IL, house party
Eavesdropper: RDC

Here's to Jenny and to everyone who contributed. As always, if you overhear something hilarious, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in next week's Midwestern Eavesdropping. Oh, and fuck snow (not Snow, of "Informer" fame -- he's the bee's knees -- but actual snow).