Midwestern Eavesdropping - 10/5/06

This week's submissions may be few, but they pack a powerful punch:

Twentysomething girl in Chicago for her first time sees Edgar Bellefontaine on Michigan Ave. on a Sunday afternoon:
Girl: "Would you care to elaborate on your signs?"
Edgar: "No, I am sorry."
He then proceeds to hand her a business card.
--Chicago, Michigan Ave.
Eavesdropper: Klank

Music teacher to a kindergarten class: "Does anyone know what a banjo is?"
Boy: "Is it an old dirty bitch?"
Music teacher (in shock): "I was asking what a banjo is, and no, that is not right."
Boy : "OHHHHHH, I thought you asked what a ho is."
--Chicago, one of the many excellent Chicago Public Schools
Eavesdropper: AlyK

During discussion of odd fetishes, wife says to husband: "I would never want to be peed on. Unless I had hypothermia. Then it would keep me warm."
--Chicago, Kenmore & Diversey
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Preppie: "A friend of mine used to say he only fucked fat chicks because they appreciated it more."
Coughing Dude: "It's true. Why do you think I've been making out with fatties?"
Preppie: "Because it's easy."
Coughing Dude: "Fuck no, dude, it makes their life. It's my community outreach program."
--Bloomington, IN, IU Health Center Waiting Room, 10th & Jordan
Eavesdropper: RobD

Two male co-workers who did not go to high school together randomly see each other at Male 1's wife's 10-year high school reunion:
Male 1: "So how do you know my wife?"
Male 2: "Uh, we went to high school together."
--Chicago, East Bank Club
Eavesdropper: Anonymous (I can't remember who told me about it)

Twentysomething male speaking of annoying drunk girl: "I wish I could spike her drink with something that would make her dead."
--Chicago, some bar
Eavesdropper: RDC

Thanks again to those who submitted. Everyone else, bollocks to you, or, alternatively, send me submissions at gmyhblog@yahoo.com. I love you all.