Rhonda -- sweet Rhonda -- is no longer with us. In the short five years she was mine, she served me well, giving me over 90,000 miles in that span. Whether it was getting tires blown out on I-70s by F-4s, refusing to start in temperatures over 70 degrees, surpassing the 200,000-mile mark, or the cute chainsaw sound the antenna made every time it tried to go up or down but just grinded the gears instead, it was always an adventure with Rhonda. She will be sorely missed. Good night sweet princess.
With that, I've gone against nearly everything I've ever believed: car payments, owning a car made after 1991, automatic transmission, a non-Japanese car, buying a new or used car. It's madness, and I'm still coming to grips with it. Nonetheless, I have bestowed upon our new car a name in the tradition of Blackura (my black Acura) and Rhonda (my red Honda).
I give you . . . The Blaab:
Yes, I know it's a wagon. Yes, I'm completely fine with that (now I can finally haul all those 2x4s). Yes, I am aware that I am now a country club membership away from officially being a yuppie. But dammit, I bought a car that I can legitimately call The Blaab, and that's a good enough reason for me.
Now the goal is to convince Jessie to let me put a "Mark It 8 Dude" bumper sticker on The Blaab. I hope to God you know that I'm not kidding.
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11 comments:
ADL-
Just for clarity, I can only assume that the proper pronunciation of the "Blaab" is "Blob" and not “Blab” (rhymes with flab)?
Correct: "blob"
Bog-O-Douche
Where is this bog that is allegedly home to a douche? I would guess Ireland by the "-O-," but I'm not sure if the Emerald Isle has any bogs, much less a bog with a singular douche residing within its boundaries.
Another concern I have is whether there are any cranberries in this bog. If so, are they at risk of contamination by the douche's chemicals? Or is it a traditional vinegar and water mixture? Has anyone ever tried to remove the douche from the bog? It seems like that would be a prudent move.
I can only assume that some guy was trying to make a horribly ill-concieved pun that plays on the pronounciation of "Blaab" when he said bog-o-douche. Would this be considered a yeh-ism?
Did you give one or both of your testicles for the down payment?
Neither (they wouldn't have been worth a damn anyway -- please refer to my statement about being barren), just American dollars.
And I have to disagree with the implication that Sweden is only good for nannies. Have you not forgotten about the advances the Swedes have made in the fields of national health care, massages, ski jumping (Jan Boklöv anyone?), meatballs, bikini modeling, side-impact airbags, garage rock (The Hives, Sahara Hotnights, The Hellacopters, etc.), and vodkas named Absolut? If he was dead, Björn Borg would be rolling in his grave at your statement.
And in response to Anonymous's question, it could have been a Yehism had it been a correct pun (i.e., "Baag-o-douche") and had it been spoken or written by Kevin Yeh.
Except for the tennis, Finland does it all better. I'll have to add that to the wikipedia entry that you just plagarized.
I also forgot that there was a possibility that you had no balls in the first place. That explains it...
Not no balls, just infertile balls.
And aside from the Jan Boklöv reference, I needed no help from Wikipedia. You vastly underestimate the wealth of random knowledge that rests within my otherwise less-than-average head, mostly useless until some jackhole makes a comment like "Sweden is only good for nannies." Finland? Please.
What's next.......a move to Naperville?
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