Bowling and Such

Well, for the second day in a row, there's not much to talk about here at GMYH. It's raining in Dayton, which it usually does from about now until May, at which point it will be sunny for no more than one day in a row until June, when the rainy season starts over again. Anywho, I'm just rockin' out to some Zeppelin as we speak.

Speaking of "your time is gonna come," I encountered a wannabe fecal phantom in the bathroom about a half hour ago. He was done with his "business" in about 30 seconds, but it took him another 2 minutes to clean his ass in a sufficient enough manner to allow his exit from the stall. I think "pathetic" is the only word that can describe what I heard: the nervous tapping of Italian leather, hard-soled shoes, the recurrent frantic pulling of toilet paper, the faint sound of a 20- or 30-something wimpering. I don't know what's worse, someone who is actually a fecal phantom or someone who strives to be a fecal phantom but fails miserably. I would love to have seen who this SOB was, if for nothing else than to tell him that he doesn't have to become one of them; that he can enjoy his shits without fear of retribution; that the journey is just as important as the destination. Of course he was long gone when I emerged from my stall ten minutes later with a satisfied grin on my face.

So last night was the first night in a 10-week bowling league for Jester and me. Also on our team, which is currently named Courthouse Cathouse (after a fictional strip club the teammates will one day open at the vacant subterranean restaurant space at Courthouse Plaza here in Dayton) is Dan "Piss and" Binegar and Nick "Not the Bird-Headed Freak that Used to Play for Illinois" Smith. A sign that the team may need some work is that we lost to a team with 3 bowlers. Jessie bowled her ass off even though she was not a part of her family's legendary bowling prowess, which was acquired after her departure for college almost 8 years ago. I did alright, as did the others. But it's hard to beat a team that has a guy named Levon, another guy who looked like the janitor in Billy Madison ("what about you, sideburns?"), and another guy who sets the tone for an ass-kicking by dropping a 269 in the first game.