It's a fucking train wreck. I've watched it several times now, and I can't help but wonder how much better the world would be if he hadn't beaten all those other sperm to that egg on that fateful night 28 1/2 years ago. The song sounds like that old Listerine commercial that sampled the beginning of "Hooked on a Feeling" (the Blue Swede version, not the B.J. Thomas version), combined with random sounds of people taking painful shits and performing some sort of Santeria chicken sacrifice. His expressions during the song tell me that he must have dementia or some sort of neurological disorder because he apparently thinks this is a good song.
The song and Kevin's movements and pony tail evoke the following questions:
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- How could anyone ever love this man?
- Do his mother and father look at this and say, "damn, we're proud of our son"?
- Does Kevin honestly listen to this song and think, "I'm a talented musician. People respect me."?
- And what's with the guitars in the background? It's not like there are any in the song, and it's safe to assume that he has never touched one.
- When Britney sees this clip (or hears the song), does it at all waver her belief that it was a good idea to allow this man to plant his seed within her?
- In a related question, after hearing this song, will she decide that the only suitable option is in fact to suffocate young Sean Preston Federline so that he will never have to know that his father created one of the worst songs in music history?
- Will someone please tell Kevin that the '80s businessman pony tail is not in jeopardy of making a comeback?
- When he says "that's fire," does he actually mean "no one should have ever allowed me to put that sound on a tangible medium"?
- After watching this clip, can you think of anyone that is more deserving of a kick in the dick?