"Just An Urchin Livin' Out on the Streets"

After a 2-week haitus for the holidays, we're all back in the office for the first Hair Band Friday of 2006. And what better way to kick off the new year than by snorting coke off a stripper's ass right after responding to some interrogatories? Coming from the ghetto blaster, we got Time-Life's "Guitar Rock: The Heavy '80s," a delightful compilation of hair band classics, G n' F'n R's timeless effort, "Appetite for Destruction," and Def Leppard's multi-platinum masterpiece, "Pyromania." What's awesome about living only 3 1/2 blocks from where I work is that this morning I was able to watch Zack and Kelly get married on Saved By the Bell: The College Years, which ended at 8, and by 8:08, I was drinking Beam out of some hooker's belly button while rockin' out to "Paradise City" in my office.

So, there was no new The OC last night (starts back up next week). As you may or may not know, The OC's start time has moved to an hour later (9/8C), and now NBC has moved My Name Is Earl and The Office (which were both hilarious last night) to Thursday nights to go up against The OC. Maybe ABC should just go ahead and move Desperate Housewives to Thursday at 9, and next fall ESPN should make it Thursday Night Football instead of Monday Night Football, and CBS should move, uh, that one show that -- oh nevermind, I can't name a show on CBS. Thank God for DVRs, though.

On another note, while I was walking to work today, there was a noticeable lack of precipitation coming down from the heavens. That seems like an odd thing to say, doesn't it? Well yes it is. Unless you see a middle-aged Daytonian woman walk for several blocks with her umbrella open, apparently protecting herself from the harsh rays of the fully clouded sky and any gale force winds that may never occur.

Oh shit, I totally forgot to mention that on Wednesday night, Rhonda (my stylin' '91 Accord that sits on gold 24s) hit the 194,000-mile mark (as you can see, for once I was stopped when I took the picture of the odometer, rather than on the highway where I endanger hundreds of lives by taking the picture). At the rate I'm going, she'll hit 200,000 by summer.

And just chill out, Mr. 6000 is coming.