Thursday, May 17, 2007

Christoff and Amazon

Loyal GMYH reader Pissed Off Christoff turns 27 today. Burn in hell, you rotten motherfucker, but have a wonderful birthday.

Rumors are circulating that Dan "Piss And" Binegar is above average/exceptional according to his employer. I have no reason to doubt that the rumors are true, so please take that into account when you are considering whether or not to hire a judicial clerk.

So I recently ordered a couple CDs from Amazon. As such, I have been tracking my package, eagerly awaiting its arrival. Here is the chronology that I have been provided:
  • On May 11, 2007, somewhere in the US the carrier was notified to pick up the package.
  • On May 14, 2007 at 3:03:00pm, someone in Forest Park, Illinois noted that it was in transit.
  • On May 15, 2007 at 1:17:00pm, someone in Forest Park again noted that it was in transit. How it has taken 3 days for a package to travel the 10 miles from Forest Park to my office in the Loop is beyond me, unless it was walked over by a 93-year-old midget with scurvy who was walking on his hands and refused to walk on his feet despite the fact that he couldn't walk on his hands for more than seven feet at a time. But that's not really the issue, because . . .
  • On December 31, 1969 at 3:59:59pm, somewhere in the US, the package received an arrival scan. This is particularly intriguing because it is 37 years, 5 months, and 23 days ahead of the estimated arrival date of May 22, 2007.

I'm hoping to get it sometime before my A-Z Extravaganza ends.

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