Kentucky Wins 9th National Title, According to One Idiot's Leg

The state of Kentucky basketball is somewhat in flux.  After a Final Four in 2011 and winning the NCAA title in 2012 (vacation of both pending, since John Calipari is incapable of taking a team to the Final Four without it later getting vacated), in 2013, the Wildcats lost in the first round.  Of the NIT.  At home.  To Robert Morris.  It was glorious, as Kentucky became the first school in history to win the NCAA Tournament one year and lose in the first round of the NIT the next.  

This year was supposed to be a return to the upper echelon for UK, with what was touted by many as the greatest recruiting class in the history of college basketball.  Kentucky was the preseason #1 in both polls, and some Kentucky fans even made "40-0" t-shirts and created 40-0 websites, believing that their Wildcats would run the table.  Then reality hit.  The Wildcats went undefeated all the way until November 12 (their 3rd game), and the Wildcats are now 22-9, having gone 12-6 in a very mediocre SEC.  They are projected as a 7-seed in the NCAA Tournament in the latest Bracketology.

In case you are somehow under the impression that Kentucky fans aren't, for lack of a better term, mentally retarded, let me introduce you to 22-year-old machinist (and Kentucky true believer) Tyler Austin Black.  Rather than just accept the fact that this year hasn't gone as planned for UK, Black went ahead and got a tattoo on his calf proclaiming the Kentucky will be the "2014 Nati9nal Champions."  The "9" is representative of how many national championships Kentucky would have if they win one this year.  

This sums up Big Blue Nation pretty well.  This guy -- who I think we can all assume did not go to the University of Kentucky -- is so absolutely delusional that he thought it would be a good idea to permanently brand himself with the mark of something that not only has not yet happened, but in all likelihood, will never happen.  There are literally more than 25 other teams who have a better chance at winning the national title than Kentucky this year.  

And when Kentucky loses (hopefully in the Round of 64), this guy will have to explain to his children (assuming he's not sterile) why he has a lie on his body forever.  Try telling your kids not to do something stupid after this one.  "I can't sleep over at my boyfriend's house?  This coming from the guy with the Kentucky 2014 national champions tattoo."  Way to think things out, Tyler.  Then again, that utter inability to think things out or accept reality is what makes you a Kentucky fan in the first place.