In case you haven't heard, master alchemist and Wiccan overlord David Copperfield (the dude, not the book) claims to have discovered the Fountain of Youth. According to the article this fountain is conveniently located on a private island in the Bahamas owned by Copperfield that happens to house a resort that you are more than welcome to rent out for $300,000 a week. Copperfield claims that dead leaves come back to life when they touch the fountain's water and that near-death bugs fly away after contacting the water. I question how he knows whether a bug is near death or not, but then again this guy made the Statue of Liberty disappear, so he's got a leg up on me.
Even more convenient than the fact that the fountain is on his own private $300,000-a-week island is that Copperfield is not inviting humans to swim in it or drink from it yet. It seems to me that it couldn't hurt to have a really old dude just dip his pinky finger in there or something, but nonetheless, Copperfield said that he has hired biologists and geologists to examine the potential effect on humans.
So let me get this straight. A guy who has built his whole life around deceiving people claims to have discovered something that could prevent death, which happens to be located on his own island, and he will not let any other human come into contact with it? I find this extremely ironic because just the other day I found a baby mastadon in my bathtub, fighting a baby stegosaurus. I separated them, and I have been keeping them in separate rooms, feeding them and nuturing them. I really want to donate them to the Brookfield Zoo, so that the whole world can share in my unbelievable discovery. But the thing is, I have to make sure some scientists check it out first, in order to determine if I'm entirely full of shit.
AL Wild Card
1. White Sox 71-47 --
2. Minnesota 69-49 2.0
3. Boston 68-50 3.0
NL Wild Card
1. Cincinnati 61-58 --
2. Arizona 60-59 1.0
2. San Diego 60-59 1.0
4. Philly 58-60 2.5
5. Colorado 58-61 3.0
6. Astros 57-62 4.0
7. Milwaukee 56-63 5.0
7. San Fran 56-63 5.0
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
1 comment:
Hey, that's great that Dave is staying busy, but shouldn't he be spending a little more time finding a fountain that can ressurect careers versus prolonging a painful life out of the spotlight that his soul so desperately crazes?
I'm sure that folks such as Mario Lopez, Jenna Van Oy, and Babs herself would give their left testes for such a find!
Post a Comment