Midwestern Eavesdropping - 8/3/06

Midwestern Eavesdropping is back up in your ass like the resurrection. Thanks to all who contributed. Here you go:

Cop herding stoners into concert of former members of Phish: "All right, you filthy animals, let's go, into the hippie corral. C'mon."
--Chicago, Charter One Pavilion, Northerly Island
Eavesdropper: RobD

On a crowded, rush hour Red Line train, several douchebag college-age kids were trying to impress some girl:
Douchebag 1: "We play bloody knuckles all the time."
Girl: "Really?"
Douchebag 2: "Yeah, bloody knuckles is the best game ever. Ever."
[conversation continues with just as much sophistication for several minutes when the train comes to a stop on the tracks in between stations]
Douchebag 2 (as if he has never been on an L train that has come to a stop in between stations): "What the fuck is this?"
CTA Voice-over announcement guy: "Attention customers. We are momentarily stopped awaiting signal clearance ahead. We should be moving shortly."
Douchebag 1 (grabbing his crotch): "I'll give you a signal. I'll give you a fucking signal clearance."
--Chicago, Red Line L train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Two high schoolers decked out in the typical A&F gear in a department store shoe section:
Teenage girl (pointing out an extremely high-heeled shoe with sparkles): "Stripper shoes!"
Teenage boy: "You can't wear high heels when you're pregnant!"
Teenage girl (less than impressed): "I might fall down the stairs or something."
Teenage boy: "Yeah, you have to be careful you know."
Teenage girl: "You're right. I could miscarry or something!"
(long pause)
Teenage girl: "Too bad this one's not yours."
(I think she really wanted the shoes.)
--Dayton, OH, Macy's, ladies' shoe section
Eavesdropper: NaviKate

Twentysomething special-ed teacher, excitedly referring to a Rolaids Tropical Fruit soft chew: "Oh my God. It's like a tropical orgy in my mouth."
--Chicago, Trinity Bar, 2721 N. Halsted
Eavesdropper" GMYH

Tramp: "And how much did this friend of yours make on the deal?"
Suit: "Oh something like two or two and a half million."
Tramp: "Rest in peace, Pablo Escobar!"
--Chicago, Washington & Clark
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething blond female attorney asking twentysomething male colleague about a what she believes to be a pop culture reference she can't quite put her finger on:
Blonde: "Why does my friend keep calling me Whitley in all these emails?"
Male: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Blonde: "It's a pop culture thing -- people say it all the time. You know, like, 'Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Whitley?'"
Male: "I believe that's 'Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?' from Arnold on Diff'rent Strokes."
Blonde: "I hate you."
--Dayton, OH, law firm, 3rd & Ludlow
Eavesdropper: Holt

Barely intelligible homeless man bearing a striking resemblance to Wesley Willis, with very few teeth and a ziplock bag with ice and water from which he alternated between drinking and resting on his eyes, to a twentysomething guy who got on the train wearing a yellow Polo shirt: "Hey, you're a polo player, aren't you? Yeah, you are."
--Chicago, Purple Line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Paralegal on phone: "Their best thing is the Grand Champion of Bratwurst. They won the national competition. They’d probably shoot me if they knew I put ketchup on 'em. . . . Yeah well you do! . . . Fuckin' brandish your weapon!"
--Chicago, law office
Eavesdropper: RobD

26th floor of a high-rise office building downtown. The entire floor is under construction with the exception of one space that is still occupied. While waiting for the elevator, often times music can be heard quite clearly through many of the make-shift walls while hammers are pounding and saws are cutting in the background. On this particular evening however the music was turned up extra loud to be accompanied by 4 to 5 contruction workers singing for the entire two minutes while I waited for the elevator: "Come on Vogue, Let your body groove to the music, Hey hey hey, Come on Vogue, Let your body go with the flow, You know you can do it . . ."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: Klank

Twentysomething totally hot librarian, before leaving for a Cubs game on a 95-degree day: "Let's put some band-aids over these nips, 'cause I sure as hell ain't wearin' a bra."
--Chicago, some totally awesome apartment in Lincoln Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thanks again to those who contributed. Keep up the good work.