He Lives, Somehow

What do you get when you're an Eastern Bloc vampire surfer who doesn't wear sleeves, kills non-vampire surfers with horrible hair, forces an anorexic Newpsie to supplant food with cocaine, hangs out with dudes who look like Trent Reznor and bang passed-out chicks in poor man's Sin Bins, gets beaten within an inch of his life by one Ryan Atwood, kills Marissa fucking Cooper, and then goes into hiding for fear of suffering a horribly violent punching-related death?

You get a weird haircut and you wear scarves in Gap ads.
Is there no justice in the world? Fuck Volchok. And fuck Ryan for not killing him when he had the chance? What the hell was all that cage fighting training for? God, I miss The OC. Thanks to RobD for the extremely disturbing photo.