"Earn Your First Dollar in Seven Years"

Clark and Michael
For you Arrested Development fans out there, I have a site for you: Clark and Michael. It features a bunch of webisodes featuring Michael Cera (who played George-Michael on Arrested Development) and his friend Clark Duke (who is on the new ABC Family show, Greek) as they fictitiously try to pitch their fictitious screenplay, fictitiously. Arrested Development writer Michael Hurwitz plays their agent. It's funny stuff. In particular, the intro to episode 9 is pretty damn funny. Thanks to Australian Andrew for the link.

Douche
Well, Brady Quinn has shown Cleveland Browns fans what I've known for several years now: He is a giant douchebag. Apparently he had an autograph session at a Cleveland-area mall where fans foolishly showed up thinking that they wouldn't have to pay a MINIMUM of $75 for an autograph (thanks to Christoff for the link). Good thinking, Brady. Even if it wasn't your idea, maybe you should use your brain before agreeing to anything your handlers suggest. If there's any way for a rookie to endear himself to his hometown fans, it's by (1) holding out, even though you're overrated and got picked at #22 instead of top 10 and (2) charging exorbitant amounts of money for autographs (without telling anyone) despite the fact that you've never set foot on an NFL field. Get a haircut, asshole.

LiLo
For those of you who haven't heard, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for DUI and cocaine possession . . . AGAIN. This girl is a fucking genius as far as I can tell.