I worked from home today, so I didn't listen to any CDs (just my Hair Band Friday station on Pandora). Anyway, here's Midwestern Eavesdropping. I pretty much carried it this week.
Fratty guy talking on cell phone: "We're at a bar. It's called Celona. Like the country."
--Chicago, Bar Celona, 3474 N. Clark
Guy leaving bar, holding pack of cigarettes walk past group of people standing outside bar.
Guy (to group): "Do any of you guys want a pack of cigarettes? I only smoked two."
Girl in group: "No thanks. None of us smoke."
Another girl in group: "If I was homeless I would smoke them."
--Chicago, Sheffield & Oakdale
Late 20s female to late 20s male: "So tell me what does a bricklayer do, lay bricks?"
--Chicago, Fiesta Mexicana
Astonished twentysomething female to three males: "You've never been bit by a goose or water fowl?" (several seconds later) "You've never been bit by a duck?"
--Chicago, Tilli's, Halsted & Armitage
Astonished twentysomething female to people she was dining with: "What, you've never made you're own pickles?"
--Chicago, TaTong, Lincoln & Wellington
Young 20s male, walking through courthouse parking lot, talking on cell phone: "I have a license -- I have two" (pause) "Yeah, I have no idea how that happened."
--Bridgeview, IL, courthouse parking lot, 10220 S. 76th Ave.
Not really eavesdropping, but pretty funny:
HUGE woman wearing a t-shirt that says: "I'm not the girl next door. I'm the bitch from down the block."
--Chicago, Target, Elston & Logan
So that's it. I expect a better effort from the rest of you next week. When you overhear something hilarious, or even mildly funny, email it to firstname.lastname@example.org, and I'll sure as shit include it in the next Midwestern Eavesdropping.